I haven’t smoked weed in 2 (almost three) weeks. I’m very proud of myself.

Almost able to pass a drug test.

This is also saving me money!

Is one fantastic movie. Incredible, I will add.

I love movies that I can relate to.

When I see other people laugh, smile, and enjoying themselves, I always wonder why they are so happy. What is it that I’m missing? I get overwhelmed with jealousy from the contentment in other people. I’m not a jealous person, but this, this just upsets me. I feel pain for not knowing. I feel pain for not enjoying the life that I have been given.

This hasn’t been the best year for me. I’m not asking for a pity party or anything. I’m just going to vent for a bit. I’ve been a disappointment. This year has just been a complete disaster. I wasn’t prepared for any of this. I’m not taking school seriously. I’ve dropped three classes and surprisingly passing my other ones with high A’s and B’s. I can’t focus in school and I honestly don’t want to continue going to college. But If I drop out, I will feel like more of a disappointment and failure. It’s not just school that is stressing me out; it’s other life situations. Everything has been a rollercoaster, everything is moving too fast for me. I don’t like growing up. I’m disappointed with myself for getting involved with drugs. What happened to the girl I used to be? The one that looked down upon all of this. I don’t eat anymore and constantly thriving to be thinner. I used to have the whole world on a string. I used to have the confidence that was so high and now I’m falling more and more. What happened? Why did I fall? I miss the person I used to be. I miss being the happy go lucky kind of girl.